Start by Shifting What You’re Thinking About.
The following is adapted from More Money, Less Hustle.
Growing up, I always thought I had to do everything on my own as a lone wolf. I had to be the best at whatever I was going to be, and I had to be the one to figure out how to do that. I’ll be honest: the internal pressure to be the best was unbelievably heavy for a kid to carry.
This mindset persisted into adulthood and into my entry into the real estate business. I felt that familiar pressure to create success on my own. The freedom real estate offers allowed me to think outside the box for my business. I appreciated the independence I had, but even in the best of times, this is a lonely business. On top of that, I couldn’t let go of that old lone-wolf mentality. I was determined to make it work on my own.
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After a number of years, though, it all got to be too much. I had too many clients. I know, I know, it sounds like a good problem to have—until it isn’t. I was being pulled in too many directions and trying to do too many things that I wasn’t good at.
I hit an emotional breaking point. Everyone wanted something from me, and I felt like I had nothing left. I had reached a point of extreme burnout. Something had to change, or something was going to give.
Maybe you can relate. If so, then I have good news for you. You can make changes to get your life back, while at the same time creating more success and abundance in your business. It all starts with changing your mindset.
Your Mindset is Your Reality
Your mindset is the total sum of all your beliefs—and your mindset determines your outcomes. If you believe that you have to suffer to be successful, you’re going to end up building something that makes you suffer.
The beautiful thing, though, is that you can change your mindset. It’s not as hard as you might think, because almost everything in your life is entirely in your control. Rather than thinking that life is happening to you, tell yourself that you are creating the life that you have and want. Where you are now, the good and the bad—you created that.
Making this mindset shift is unbelievably important, especially in a business like ours. After all, from the beginning of your real estate career, I bet you’ve been taught that you need to grind. That you have to hustle. That success only comes from huge sacrifice. What happens then is that you never become efficient, and you embody the idea that suffering is a part of success.
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Focus on Abundance
However, that’s just part of the problem. You have to transition from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance. This might sound a little woo-woo, but bear with me. If your focus is only on the negative—your bills, your lack of clients, and the slow market, then you’ll continue to experience that slowness because it’s where your attention and your beliefs are.
Justine Faerman at the Flow Consciousness Institute calls this the BETDAR Framework. The simplified version of this notion is that what you believe is the first step to everything that you create. Beliefs trigger emotions. Emotions lead to thoughts. Thoughts create decisions. Decisions trigger actions. Actions lead to…Results.
So, if you believe that the market is slow and it’s impossible to be successful without struggle, those negative beliefs will compound, creating a feedback loop. You won’t get the results you’re looking for because you don’t believe they’re possible. By believing the market is too slow to create business, you’re fulfilling the feedback loop you’ve created and proving yourself right. You’re just confirming your beliefs.
The good news is that you can do the exact same thing with a positive thought. You can tell yourself, “Maybe the market is slow, but I believe there is abundance. I believe there is still business to be had. I believe I can find it.” Because you believe that, everything you do is going to push you toward that action and result. Now you’ve created a positive feedback loop because the results will prove your initial belief in your initial thought.
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The Ego Account
When I went through my period of emotional burnout, I was focused on the lack of time, energy, and space that I had, when the truth was, I had the problem of too much business. The idea that I had to do everything myself meant I was the bottleneck in my own business. I was trying to prove that I was better and stronger, and that I could suffer more.
You have two accounts you can choose to fill—your bank account or your ego account. I was filling my ego account. Even though that’s not what I actually wanted, it filled my ego account to know all these people wanted to work with me.
But the truth is that you can only fill one account. You have to choose. So, which one is it going to be? Filling your ego account means creating more stress and anxiety—and it’s just not worth it. Until you let it go, you can’t fill your bank account. In order to do so, you’re going to have to give up some control. You cannot do it all.
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The Sneaky Ego Mindset
Don’t be fooled. The ego mindset isn’t just about thinking you’re the only person that can run the business. It also comes in the form of stories you tell yourself.
“I’m bad with technology.”
“I hate Facebook and Instagram.”
“I’m not a good writer.”
“I’m scared of making videos.”
“I’m lazy and inconsistent.”
To a certain extent, all of this self-talk keeps you safe. Your ego is there to safeguard your current reality. Every time you’re hit with the possibility of leveling up or changing where you are today, your ego steps in, whether in the form of fear or just discomfort.
Choose the Scary Thing
The reason your brain does this is that it hasn’t caught up yet to the fact that you’re not a caveman being chased by an apex predator. Adaptation is a slow process, and your brain is constantly wired for fear.
What your brain knows will keep you safe, it will encourage you to repeat. It’s up to you to choose the scary thing anyway.
When you shift your mindset to one of abundance—no matter what your ego is telling you—and you do so consistently, you create success in your business. Don’t let your ego sabotage your success. Shift your mindset and start enjoying the success, abundance, and happiness you want and deserve.
For more advice on how to create wild success and abundance in your real estate business, you can find More Money, Less Hustle on Amazon.